Theory Of 1985
Here it is, finally for the whole world to hear my theory of 1985. I warn you to take the things I say with a grain of salt. Simply, the theory is the people who were born in 1985 and on are complete idiots, brainless, dense, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, fatuous, half-witted, mindless, oafish, obtuse, senseless, simple, slow, thick, thickheaded, unintelligent, vacuous, weak-minded, and witless. Now I'm not saying that everyone born in the year 85 and onward are idiots, I'm just saying that most of you are. I first came up with this theory back when I was in grade 12 which would have placed these people born in 85 in grade 9. Maybe having a younger brother who just so happened to be born in 85 has something to do with this theory.
Wandering around the school as a senior I just witnessed all this dumb things that these kids would do. Although right now I really can't remember anything. Also I was a TA in a Drama 8 class and just witnessing the way these kids were acting and the lack of respect that they showed for authority. One specific memory is the way the girls were dressing in grade 9. They would dress like absolute whores. In a comedic monologue with dramatic undertones that I did for my graduation celebration I questioned the way the youth were dressing today and said "they were dressing in a way that would make the women on Victoria Street jealous" ( for those of you not from Kamloops this is close to where you can find the local hookers). Many of the girls from grade 9 them confronted me and where pissed off that I was calling them whores, but technically I never said that. But there were a handful of the girls from that grade who did support what I said. What was really funny is that at the party afterwards most of the teachers came to thank me for some of the things I said, especially about their dress because they really wanted to say those things.
I did think that maybe because they were really just kids at the time that maybe that's just how everyone views people in those grades. Its true that we go through a maturing process as we age. I wouldn't be surprised if people born before me thought the same about my age group. But I still hold on to this theory. Why? Because I still see the people who are now in their early twenties and they are still acting like complete idiots. Case in point, I have a friend who works at a movie theater and all the time he complaining about how dumb the people he works with are. And they are all the people who are younger than us. I have even witnessed some of this stupidity when I watch some of the staff showing with them. I keep telling him that it is the theory of 85. Which he absolutely agrees with me. So I know I have the support of at least one person. Also whenever I'm in Edmonton I see a shit load of Now Hiring signs. My brother who manages a theater is always hiring because the people he does hire ranging from say 17 to 21 turn out to be really bad workers. I say that its the theory of 85 that has lead to the increase in available jobs in Edmonton.
At one point I even thought about continuing in Psychology by getting a masters and Ph.D and I would have wanted to make this theory part of my masters thesis and see if I could actually prove this in some scientific way. Well I guess I have rambled on enough about my theory for now.
Here it is, finally for the whole world to hear my theory of 1985. I warn you to take the things I say with a grain of salt. Simply, the theory is the people who were born in 1985 and on are complete idiots, brainless, dense, doltish, dopey, dull, dumb, fatuous, half-witted, mindless, oafish, obtuse, senseless, simple, slow, thick, thickheaded, unintelligent, vacuous, weak-minded, and witless. Now I'm not saying that everyone born in the year 85 and onward are idiots, I'm just saying that most of you are. I first came up with this theory back when I was in grade 12 which would have placed these people born in 85 in grade 9. Maybe having a younger brother who just so happened to be born in 85 has something to do with this theory.
Wandering around the school as a senior I just witnessed all this dumb things that these kids would do. Although right now I really can't remember anything. Also I was a TA in a Drama 8 class and just witnessing the way these kids were acting and the lack of respect that they showed for authority. One specific memory is the way the girls were dressing in grade 9. They would dress like absolute whores. In a comedic monologue with dramatic undertones that I did for my graduation celebration I questioned the way the youth were dressing today and said "they were dressing in a way that would make the women on Victoria Street jealous" ( for those of you not from Kamloops this is close to where you can find the local hookers). Many of the girls from grade 9 them confronted me and where pissed off that I was calling them whores, but technically I never said that. But there were a handful of the girls from that grade who did support what I said. What was really funny is that at the party afterwards most of the teachers came to thank me for some of the things I said, especially about their dress because they really wanted to say those things.
I did think that maybe because they were really just kids at the time that maybe that's just how everyone views people in those grades. Its true that we go through a maturing process as we age. I wouldn't be surprised if people born before me thought the same about my age group. But I still hold on to this theory. Why? Because I still see the people who are now in their early twenties and they are still acting like complete idiots. Case in point, I have a friend who works at a movie theater and all the time he complaining about how dumb the people he works with are. And they are all the people who are younger than us. I have even witnessed some of this stupidity when I watch some of the staff showing with them. I keep telling him that it is the theory of 85. Which he absolutely agrees with me. So I know I have the support of at least one person. Also whenever I'm in Edmonton I see a shit load of Now Hiring signs. My brother who manages a theater is always hiring because the people he does hire ranging from say 17 to 21 turn out to be really bad workers. I say that its the theory of 85 that has lead to the increase in available jobs in Edmonton.
At one point I even thought about continuing in Psychology by getting a masters and Ph.D and I would have wanted to make this theory part of my masters thesis and see if I could actually prove this in some scientific way. Well I guess I have rambled on enough about my theory for now.
posted by Garrett @ 5:32 PM
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